the Applebee’s nonsense continues. read Part 1 here.
I’ve never had a really bad experience at an Applebee’s before, not at home in Atlanta or when I lived in Decatur for about a year. I did not take the situation well.
My sister gave me the look with her lips pursed, having seen everything I did while my mom remained oblivious. I said out loud, ”Oh hell naw… Let’s go. Let’s get out here.”
We went next door to Marie Calender’s to eat and I was pissed though I tried not to let it ruin my meal.
Seeing that I in particular was in a bad mood, I think the staff at Marie Calender’s was trying to be sensitive to us. We explained to my mom what she missed while we were all sitting there, waiting to be acknowledged over in the Applebee’s and she agreed with me that we stood go back and fill out a comment card or demand to talk to the manager.
The food at Marie Calender’s was okay-tasty. After spending a totally exorbitant amount on it, I wasn’t thrilled.
We went back next door to the Applebee’s and asked to see the manager.
He came out and we talked to him about what happened, white and/or Latino guy. The first thing he was quick to say was that “We’re not sure it was racism but you all were certainly neglected and that’s money taken away from us that you had to go next door”. He knew the restaurant hadn’t been crowded at all when we came in and spoke in a pretty audible voice.
He took down my name and the phone number to our apartment. Later, the manager called and said he’d looked at the video tape footage of the incident. I spoke with him and felt a little uncomfortable, having forgotten or never thought about the cameras in this restaurant.
The manager came to conclusion that it wasn’t racism or discrimination but we were neglected; he offered to send us something in the mail to compensate us and “bring us back” into the fold with Applebee’s.
We ain’t got nothing in mail yet.
Welcome to Fresno.
Splitting Hairs or Opening Minds: the phrase “dark-skinned”
I’ve never liked that “Ebony and Ivory” stuff.
Many Black people describe each other as “dark-skinned”. As a child, I never really thought about it but when I was confronted with white people who call all people of color who aren’t pale “dark-skinned”, I began to think.
Maybe I really will be a teacher or professor one day in an “official” capacity and that’s why I’m thinking about this on this level. Maybe I just think too much, one of my overwrought idiosyncrasies.
Whatever the reason, I have adopted a policy of not categorizing brown people as “dark-skinned” based on some theory of relativity when comparing oneself to milk and white chalk. Unless there’s a point, I will not write stories comparing Black people to consumable or exotified things like chocolate, caramel, leopards, cheetahs, lions (no big cats from jungle or plain in general), animals in general, darkness, overdone comparisons and conflation with nature like trees, wood, plants, flowers, and soil.
I will question when people call myself or others “black-skinned”—as in the color, not the socio-political identity (‘B’lack)—in my presence.
I will find other ways to describe brown skin.
There is an entire spectrum of brownness. Unless it’s painted or treated somehow, I don’t even think ebony wood is actually ‘black’. Even coffee isn’t black; anybody who’s ever looked at coffee before (or spilled it) can tell you that coffee is brown—even espresso. All my life I’ve had this threshold in my mind that stops me from thinking of ‘B’lack people as literally ‘black’, even the most beloved brownest of us.
We need to change the way we think about our skin tones, complexions, hues, color-coding, and what have you. I believe that mitigating racism and other forms of oppression means being active about changing the way we think about our bodies on emotional and psychological level. It means breaking down our pathologies about our skin and the overvaluation of “white” skin.
We have to start asking ourselves “What do I/they mean when I/they use the phrase “dark-skinned”.
I love the color black. At one point, most of my wardrobe was black in high school—I was really emo[tive]/empathic in those days. However, even though we may identify politically as ‘B’lack, not literally, the color is perceived in many negative ways and has many negative connotations such as lowness, hypersexuality, darkness, evil, and disease, when it is mapped onto our skin literally. White folks have spent centuries coming up with and solidifying new ways of turning us ‘black’ because we are not white.
Maybe this is just a long way of saying we need to start re-teaching people their primary colors and how to discern nuances.
Out,
~MsQ
Posted by Taviante Queens in News Flash!, Reflections, Writings to.... Tags: Black culture, Black feminism, discrimination, Ms. Queenly, racism, reflection, skin pigmentation, skin tone, social commentary, womanism