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Monthly Archives: May 2011

I am so embarrassed by some Black people. I’ve heard of this phoenomenon before: you see or hear Black folks on television or on the news doing or saying something straight ignorant and harmful and you’re embarrassed and frustrated. This is why I mostly refuse to watch television and attempt to keep my ears closed to pop culture.

It took Miss Robinson (MissRobinson26 on YouTube) being personally insulted for her to realize that maybe rap and Lil’ Wayne ain’t what’s happening. Watch her video below or go to YouTube to check out her commentary or channel–the video in review is entitled ‘Lil’ Wayne Disrespects Woman for Being Dark Skin’. See Black folks–I don’t want to be the one, but I told you so. You give these celebrities all your money and this is how they repay you for making them into millionaires.

They turn your daughters into hoochies and whores, your sons into “thugs”, and your babies into dark, ugly creatures that you should be ashamed of. What is it going to take for Black folks at least to stop buying into this stuff?!

I was listening to Stevie Wonder’s “Isn’t She Lovely”, a song celebrating the birth and inherent beauty of a baby Black girl, not degrading and tearing her down before she’s even learned to walk and be on her own. The title of the song may sound like a question, but Stevie Wonder isn’t asking you, really, if his daughter’s existence is a thing to behold, he’s telling you. Thinking of that, I feel sorry for the baby girl Lil’ Wayne played his part in bringing into the world. I hope she’s stronger for this, I hope she never has to understand what this man who calls himself her father has said to the whole world about her and her mother and all women of darker brown skin tones. It makes me so mad and so sad at the same time.

I could go into a whole sociological/psychological analysis of what I think Lil’ Wayne’s issue is, but I don’t want to waste that much time on him. I’m already pissed off enough about what he’s said about browner Black women and about f*cking all the girls in the world (but apparently not the “dark skinneded” ones, especially if he might get them pregnant and produce a less than light-skinned child). I, for one, refuse to acknowledge or condone his racist preferences, or that of any other man’s.

Don’t believe the glitter, don’t trust the hype!

Never let these rappers and celebrities, these racist psychologist and sociologists and other academics, the haters, the ignorant, and the misguided make you feel ashamed of being Black. And that’s for real.

We, as a people, are in enough physical, emotional, spiritual, and psychological cages as it is.

for all us precious Black women and children,

~Queen~

In the years before the Obamas in the White House, no one on television was overly interested in Black folks(except for Jerry Springer and even back in those days, he had more white folks on his show, I think). The biggest deal that people ever made out of Black people then was our eating habits, diabetes, and STDs. Now all of a sudden, they wanna put Black folks all up in the media and they want to show the world the worst aspects imaginable more so now than ever. Ignorance, colorism, prostituion and other sex work, sexism, male domination, STDs, heterosexism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, poverity, pregnancy rates, the Black male rapist myth, domestic violence–all this stuff has been keyed up for somebody’s viewing pleasure. Its a circus.


This is three or four month’s late, but I don’t pay attention to stuff like the Superbowl unless I’m forced to. Video and the link to Miss Jia’s is at the bottom.

When my sister showed me the video and the commercial from Miss Jia’s, I didn’t take it too hard.

After thinking about the commercial again, I realized that Miss Jia had said everything that I would usually say about the commercial. Then I said out loud to myself, “They caught me napping, Miss Jia! Thank the lawd you were on point!”

The commericial was a complete stereotypical/typecasted rendition of how white folks have viewed Black women since they “discovered” the shores of western Africa and the slave ship to go with it. The Black woman in the commericial is typed as angrily and violently coercing her boyfriend/husband into submission and the Black man is some kind of animal that can’t control his urges, especially his sexual desire for little peppy white women.

This is what I would add to what Miss Jia said:

From the view point of a Black woman, having grown up working class in the South, what I find that rings a little true with me is how in my community, some women really do believe they can control men’s behavior. Its a human flaw, not just a Black woman’s flaw. Call it pussy power, Beyonce’s brand of feminism, whatever you wanna call it–you can’t force or influence somebody in a dominant position into doing something they ain’t gonna do. That’s how power dynamics work. I don’t condone the commericial, period, but the only solid criticism I have with the Pepsi Max commerical, having stated my background, is the fact that they made this Black woman appear so violent, abusive, and angry.

I, too, have been accused of being an “angry Black woman”, over the table and under the table. I’ve had my experiences with that. Whether I’m angry or not, that’s beside the point.

The guy in the video looked very interested in the lil’ white girl, right? Well. Society has taught and engrained in many Black men that Black women are undesirable and distasteful, especially the browner (or “darker”) they are. They degrade Black women in every way they can, then purposefully date and breed outside of their race, calling it “preference” (i.e. look no further than Lil’ Wayne, post coming up that shyt). While they labor under the oppressions placed on all Black people, Black men are also privileged and take advantage of male privilege as often as they can. People don’t bat two eyelashes about it.

So what’s real and what’s not real about the Pepsi Max Superbowl commercial? Really? How often do you see Black people acting out stereotypes? This is a question for Black people who live around other Black people. People who live in these communities know the answers.

In the years before the Obamas in the White House, no one on television was overly interested in Black folks(except for Jerry Springer and even back in those days, he had more white folks on his show, I think). The biggest deal that people ever made out of Black people then was our eating habits, diabetes, and STDs. Now all of a sudden, they wanna put Black folks all up in the media and they want to show the world the worst aspects imaginable more so now than ever. Ignorance, colorism, prostituion and other sex work, sexism, male domination, STDs, heterosexism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, poverity, pregnancy rates, the Black male rapist myth, domestic violence–all this stuff has been keyed up for somebody’s viewing pleasure. And they know who to ask to get what they want out of the Black community for entertainment.  Its a circus.

more to come,

Ms. Queenly

Visit Miss Jia for her video commentary as well as the commercial and the discussion or View Also @ Ms. Queenly’s:

Black Stereotypes in the Pepsi Max Superbowl Commercial @ Miss Jia’s

A Man’s Right to Preference–Racist

Lil’ Wayne *see my angry face*


I’m mostly writing this because I had a bad dream last night about trying to talk my white professor (who happened to be the Poet Laureate of the state at the time) into signing my paperwork so I could withdraw from his poetry class. The racism I experienced in this class was very overt in this dream and less of a goes-without-saying-type racism. (In reality, I stayed in the class, I learned some things, had a lot of issues, still managing to have a problem with it being an almost completely white class and white-catering class even though I already knew the university was predominantly white. It was a tough time, back then…)

While many of them grudgingly seemed to acknowledge my talent, the professors I encountered at this university often questioned my style, voice, and what I present in my writing. I have tempered myself to not be one of those young-too-fast-too-furious, caught-up-in-the-plot, careless-with-the-language types. Some people might see it as being heavyhanded, but I wholeheartedly disagree with that assessment. Part of my style and edge is definitely pressure and intensity, honesty, frankness, and emotion. I like to make people think. I like people to feel even a fraction of what I’m feeling as the writer and to get a sense and feel of my meaning.

Its one of the reasons I could never dedicate myself completely to the field of sociology. I’m not that much of a true blue scientific thinker and it was one of my failings as an undergraduate studying the topic, not being able to commit myself with practicality and lack of emotion to the subject. That and also my primary field is the arts in Creative Writing, so science definitely isn’t my track in the first place. When people have more of a science background or their occupation is more of the “practical” sort, its seems to show in their writing.

Regardless of my grace or failure as a sociologist, my writing has an academic and pseudo-sociological air and intention to it. I am a fiery type and that, too, shows in my writing. My socio-political intent and passion are what I think give my writing its edge, soul, and spirit. Along with the uniqueness of the writing and my voice itself.

And still, fire and passion seem to be either underrated, overrated, overlooked, too difficult to understand, foreign, or, worse, considered useless or obsolete these days.

One of the only Black male students in the class was from New England (so, basically, a white place in the country) who argued with me that ice is better than fire when dealing with racism. His thing was being cool in the face of white racism and never showing a modicum of passion and seriousness. His method of dealing was never to fight fire with fire, which is how he viewed the situation.

Basically, he was just trying to tell me I was being reckless and hotheaded.

Maybe he was right.

Or maybe he’s just a lame quitter who’s been beaten down by the state of things.

 

Keepin’ hope and passion alive,

 

~Ms. Queenly


a magical’ creature that turns into the thing you fear most once it emerges from the darkness, where it hides in its true form. No one knows what the boggart looks like when she is alone (my definition of a creature from J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter)

This new post came up for me recently after visiting another young Black woman’s blog yesterday and re-reading my reflection piece, I Chemically Relax My Hair–Why?

Sometimes, I’m okay with it. Sometimes I hate myself for doing it. I feel like I’m relaxing away my African roots and it starts with believing for an instant when I was a kid that having really thick hair was bad because my mom and sister and most of the hair stylists I went to made fun of me and went “Whoooooo, lawd, that’s alotta hair! Ooooh and its so thick too! Hey, hey, come over here and look at this!” I felt like a sideshow freak. Especially after that one guy applied the relaxer and twisted my hair up into a birdcage….

I only get my hair relaxed two to three times a year because it seems to hold up well (even though one day it may not…look out!) Why do I put that creamy crack in my head? My ancestors fought so I could not only wear my hair in whatever way I should desire but so I could hopefully embrace it in it’s natural state without shame or censor. But these days, I’m like a damn boggart: nobody’s ever sees what my hair looks like when the new growth kicks in though many have wondered. Except for the people who live in my dark little closet with me where I take on my true shape, namely my family, who are the only ones who ever seen it. Every one else who knows my secret, I had to kill–just kidding, just kidding, folks.

Sorry folks, you’ll probably hear me lament over this again in the future. One day, I know I won’t have the want to relax my hair anymore at all and when that day comes, and at the Great Divide between this world and the next, I shall face my ancestors without shame over it. That may sound idealstic but I really believe that.

I think I should just live my life the way I want to…but that includes agonizing over having natural hair or straight, chemically relaxed hair as part of that. I don’t think I’d be myself, be Black in America, or feel very human if I didn’t agonize a little. The day that I don’t think about it or question myself is the day that I’ll know something is missing inside…Its a tenuous situation.

ever more pensieve,

Ms. Queenly


My sister just told me that Christopher Meloni is leaving Law and Order: Special Victims Unit because he and the producers can’t come to an agreement about the contract AND Mariska Hargitay might be leaving, too. HEELLL NO! As depressing and difficult as I find this show, because of the violent and brutal nature of the cases, I used to watch it aaallll the time. What I like about Law and Order: SVU is that it isn’t completely made up, it exposes the flaws of the justice and legal system, and show portrayals of survivors and victims of these crimes with all the drama. And I love two passionate characters/cops like Olivia Benson (Hargitay) and Elliot Stabler (Meloni). If you take those two off, then the show won’t survive and I won’t get to see the detective minorities like Tutuola (Ice T), the Black guy, and Munch (Richard Belzer), the Jew.  I was so proud that Ice T got and held this role! Let’s never forget the coroner, too!

I am kind of fed up with the way they killed off that one Black female community leader recently and keep casting white, blonde women as the ADA.

And then to top it all off, they might be replacing Hargitay and Meloni with boo-hoo-sob-and-cry J. Love (Jennifer Love Hewitt) from the eventual flop Ghost Whisperer. Don’t do it, don’t do it, NBC!!!!

Begging,

Ms. Queenly


Strangely enough, though I vowed never to get a Twitter, it is the ultimate way to keep up with all my posts across three different blogs and a YouTube channel. I’ll just think of it this way:

I, *MY REAL NAME HERE*, do not have a Twitter–Ms. Queenly does! (As much as that might sound kind of like disassociative identity disorder…) Its a loophole in my vow! What’s next–Facebook…? <_<…..>_> *side eye*

I wasn’t going to post about it, but here we are.

Just a little attempt to get out there more though I could do without the attention ^_^

Really,

Queenly


A white, middleclass male sociology professor from the Mid-West of mine once argued with me that a man’s racial preference isn’t racist.

Of course this isn’t law or anything, but the subject of this post is racial preference in relationships, primarily romantic ones. Is it ever right for a man to leave his wife and kids or girlfriend because he prefers another women of a different race? Or for white people to go to the club with Black folks because Black people look cooler than their white and “Asian” friends on the club scene?

Racial preference isn’t the same as saying, I prefer bigger breasts or smaller breasts, brown or hazel eyes, Brazialian wax to unwaxed, curves to whatever-the-opposite-of-curves-would-be (…^_^), women over 30 to women between 20-30 years of age (at least that’s the hope that guys out of their teens are not chasing after lil’ girls…). Racial preference usually excludes a whole racial/ethnic group or groups in favor of another racial/ethnic group or more. Just something to think about.

I once told my Latino friend that I thought the foremost reason he had a crush on this white guy was because, well, he was white. That doesn’t say anything about his preference, but its says something about the valuation of whiteness in our society. I know it might have hurt his pride as a Latino to hear me suggest this, but it was true nonetheless.

The argument in favor of racial preference most often comes from men. I’ve rarely heard women argue for a right to racial preference.

Though I have heard women defend men’s preferences, especially if it includes their race and body type. Men act as if racial preference is totally natural and acceptable, which speaks to their societal privilege and how they are allowed to remain ignorant of that privilege or willfully do so even. Most people don’t even think about it.

I’ve heard men blatantly defend the fact that they prefer women who are strictly of a different race, Black men are no exception to this. In Hollywood, you don’t need to look any further than that idiot Lil’ Wayne and all the other rich Black men who marry, date, copulate, and/or have kids outside of their race on purpose. Hopefully, they married for love at least….

People shouldn’t hide it if they have a racial preference but I definitely think its not okay to defend a racial preference because almost any excuse that a man (or anyone else) can make will sound stupid, childish, and bigoted. I mean, be honest, but don’t argue about it in most cases because trying to defend a racial preference is only going to lead you down a dark, one-way alley of ignorance and stupidity.

Ideally, I prefer dating those of my own race because I think they have a higher chance of understanding my thoughts, opinions, beliefs, and experiences better AND there’s everybody else in my book, which is a whole lot different from saying, I strictly prefer Latinos/Asians/Indians/etc.

Racial preference is a form of overt racial discrimination–to mate, date, friend, or whatever because of someone’s skin color, cultural background, or some percieved racial physical characteristic prominently displayed among a certain group (such as curly hair or big booties, whatever).

I’m a little disappointed that it seems with Black men, our history with slavery, colorism, and sexual and physical abuse hasn’t taught some of them anything. Well.

Ignorance, reign on high! I’m out!

ever more real,

The Queen


Nineteen Percent’s YouTube video has been added to the Beyonce article. Sorry, I was really tired yesterday. Please check it out. Amber is dead-on point with this one. She’s says the video isn’t specifically about Beyonce and her track record in the music industry but I can see how it is exactly about that, starting with the fact that the first lines are her calling Beyonce a liar and saying she’s calling her out. The video is in this post –> http://msqueenly.wordpress.com/2011/05/24/my-beef-with-beyonce%e2%80%94lyrically-and-politically/

Right on, Amber! Keep doing what you do,

Ms. Queenly


DISCLAIMER: Beyonce is an excellent performer. That much is true. She can sing, she is, in my opinion beautiful and attractive, and she can dance like nobody’s business. She has, er, ‘sacrificed’ to get where she is and has legions of fans who support her—that much at least can be said for her.

Now that that’s out
of the way, let’s get on with what else is for real.

Like so many other topics, I’ve been meaning to write this forever and I was encouraged to go ahead and spit it out after my sister showed me this video from Miss Jia’s web site. It will be edited later after I get some sleep.

Unfortunately, a lot of Black women will make you feel like you’re just being a hater when you dis or even reasonably criticize their favorite celebrity. I spent so many years not being confident to say what I really think about a celebrity like Beyonce because I knew the first thing other Black women would say about me is that I’m fat, ugly, ‘ain’t got no man’, and poor—especially the types of girls I went to school with (even though they were afraid of me—intelligent and outspoken yet quiet, scary combo). In the crushing pressure of some part of my head, I believed those things, too. But now I’m, like, who gives a shit about what’s true and what’s untrue—this is what Ms. Queenly really thinks.

As I’ve probably said somewhere here before, I’ve never really been that much of a fan of Beyonce and here’s why.

A Few Reasons Beyonce Made the American Cut That Have Nothing to Do With Her Talent and Everything to Do With the Society We Live In

Let’s be for real: Beyonce’s looks alone could see her at the top of the charts in this country. That’s the type of superficial industry that the entertainment biz is. The longer your hair, the lighter your skin, and the thinner and closer to a Barbie doll you are, the smaller your nose, the higher you go. Beyonce has all that naturally except for her dyed ass blonde hair and talent to boot. It’s the same thing with supermodels and beauty queens: why in the hell should I congratulate you for being ‘born [somebody’s idea of] beautiful’ and/or ‘editing’ yourself as in plastic surgery and ten pounds of cosmetics? That’s a question, folks.

If you think her skin tone, better defined here as colorism, has nothing to do with it, then ask yourself why Kelly and Michelle aren’t hitting it as big. The two women of darker brown complexion of the group formerly known as Destiny’s Child have nowhere near as much fame or money as their third. We live in a society that values whiteness, as in white skin, so the whiter or the closer to white that you are, the better.

Furthermore, the entertainment industry of a capitalist creates an idol and replicates her over and over again in order to stabilize the market for profit. What’s does that mean? Corporations and their rich friends are creating the faces you see on television and on the net and force-feeding them to you over and over and over again, making your needs and wants predictable so that they can have your money. Beyonce and the next Beyonce-wannabe is no exception.

That’s my analysis.

Lyrically Speaking—Reality or Beyonce Selling Out?

“Upgrade U” is lyrically the worst song I have ever heard by a female artist only because I know Beyonce has at least half a brain inside her head. The song is basically her glorifying being some dude’s accessory to fame and riches, like a watch or a Purple Label tie, i.e. being a trophy bitch. WTF. Look for a possible lyric breakdown of how that song and others sound through my mind.

“Put a Ring on It (Single Ladies)”, as catchy as it is, is song that seems to suggest that if a man’s likes what he sees then he needs to put a woman on layaway or buy her by offering to marry her so no one else gets to her first. Like a new flat screen TV or a nice pair of $500 sneakers… *gag*

“Crazy in Love” (love the sound though) and “Dangerously in Love”—I’m not even gone waste my time.

“Girls Run the World”. Please watch Nineteen Percent’s video above and listen to her steal all these thoughts out of my head. In short, women.don’t.run.nothing.in.the.world.Beyonce.

It doesn’t matter that she isn’t the one who writes the songs. It is Beyonce’s voice that gives them life when she opens her mouth to sing them.

The real issue comes in here when you realize that there is nothing empowering about at least some if not all of the types of songs Beyonce is putting out there, especially the ones concerning men and romantic love.

Politically Speaking

Beyonce dances her ass off but what is she doing intentionally politically? Nothing, as far as I know, given that I don’t follow her like that. If I’m wrong, please correct me. (Except remaking a song of hers to combat obesity as part of Michelle Obama’s campaign, which I think is a fluke). She’s married to one of the richest and lyrically misogynist Black rappers of our time, who made his fortune partly off talking trash about women, like
most rappers do.

All you see of Beyonce in truth is her body and her dance moves. She has done nothing for her community except take Black people’s money (and everybody else’s). And a person only needs so much money. All that influence, all that money, what’s she doing with it?

If girl’s run the world, then why does she have to shake her ass all over TV to get a couple mil?

There’s nothing wrong with Black woman wanting to be married or loving someone a lot or feeling empowered. Don’t get me wrong. But a lot of the Black women I know of or encounter think she’s the best thing out since sliced bread. You can never forget how few and far between super-famous, super-rich female celebs of color are and that makes her important to the Black community in a way. Yet I can’t help but feel like it is sad that’s she’s the greatest example of the most popular Black female power that we have to look up to outside of Oprah.

The common Black woman’s attitude around here suggests that empowerment and positive role models don’t matter, as long as they get the next
club hit to get them through the day and the night. For some people that’s enough. Academics or college educated folks who are trying to take the conversation to the next level are just talking out of their asses to these women and they see nothing valid in what we have to say. I have seen these women tear other women apart for saying something critically intelligent. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother putting my ass on the line to defend them when my political thoughts are met with ignorance, backstabbing, and venom.

All I can say at this point is this: Black folks don’t let the media lull you into a false sense of security and stereotypical behavior. Don’t
settle for it, not for an instant. Don’t be so desperate for top-of-the-chart hits, fresh club beats, and positive Black female icons that you get fooled by the glitter and the image.

More to come.

For real, always,

Ms. Queenly

Read Also:

Response to “Jay-Z ‘Can’t Believe’ Some of the Lyrics He’s Written” (via Yahoo Music Blogs)

how women play into oppression


Yet another ravishing spoken word performance by yours truly. This is a piece that I got a little bit of attention for during the undergrad days. (If you’re wondering why I don’t show my face, its not because I’m the creature from the black lagoon but because the focus should be on what I’m saying and also because I’m a little nervous/shy. Look forward to full frontal vids in the future.)



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